Doug and I just completed an eight day vacation together, alone.  Don't get me wrong, Doug and I travel a lot, but we are usually traveling with friends or family or visiting friends and family.  Every now and then a side trip for a day,  But for us to plan a Hawaiian cruise, just the two of us, for eight days, in a small cabin.....well that seemed a little scary. 

We had been contemplating, as many couples do in semi-retirement,  if we shared any interest now.  When we met we had common ground of being divorced with children to raise.  We were both wrapped up in similar careers with much to talk about when we got home.  This kept us busy for the first 10 years or so.  Then the differences crept in. 

Doug loves living in the large cabin we built overlooking Lake Burton and the Smokey Mountains.  He loves the fact he can go days with only his TV to listen to and Luke the dog to listen to him. He loves that it is twelve miles to the nearest small town.  Even if I am there, we can get lost in the house and only see each other at meals and bedtime.
 
I on the other hand love my condo on Piedmont Park.  I walk to restaurants, the bank, the theater and grocery stores. Caroline lives at the condo and Grace works down the street.  Alyson and Andy live minutes away with my beautiful granddaughters.  Tracey even pops into town every now and then on a business trip.  There are thousands of restaurants to meet up with my many friends and always new acquaintances to make. 

Doug and I don't agree on politics, news stations or movies to see.  I like active entertainment, he prefers passive watching.

So you can see why it was a bit daunting for both of us to face the dilemma of entertaining each other for days, on a boat, at sea......

To make matters worse, Doug discovered that the only TV on the boat appeared to be a Japanese movie channel and constant reruns of the wonders of Norwegian Cruise Lines.  The internet was very slow and cost 75 cents a minute.  What was a couple to do?

Doing Maui by Segway

Touring McKinsey State Park on the Big Island

Zip-lines through the tree top of Kauai

Walking the newest beach in the world created by lava flows on the island of Hawaii

Oh yes, we did some of this too!

 

With a heavy heart!

It has been almost a week and I can't shake the sadness that has taken over since I heard the verdict from the Trayvon Martin trial.  Oh yes, I have heard all the legal discussion as to how this was the only verdict that could have been reached, but that doesn't help.  My Dad always told me that being an adult was being responsible for your actions.  As a child you have a little leeway, but as an adult, you are fully in charge of your actions.

There was only one adult.  And the consequences of his actions caused the death of a child.

I have heard arguments that Trayvon wearing a hoodie was somewhat responsible for his demise. Is that not the same argument that has been used for years in defense of rapist....that the female was dressed provocatively?

People want to say it was not a question of race, but would the same thing have happened on a rainy night if a white 17 year old had been walking down the sidewalk with a sweatshirt on and the hood over his head?  Would Zimmerman have called the operator to report his suspicions and then stalked the child with his gun?  I know that statically black teenagers are more than 7 times as likely to commit a crime as a white teenager.  But there were no crimes reported that evening.

I can't understand the verdict or even more importantly I can't accept what this means.  
I can't accept people that  want to argue the fairness of the verdict.  I will not accept this. We can't accept this! 

Second time, Shame on Me

While attending the seventieth birthday party for a lovely friend of mine on Charlie Mountain this past weekend, I was once again the target of extreme ridicule for being a Democrat.  While sitting on the porch with neighbors, I was ambushed with questions:

"Why do you feel it necessary to keep giving handouts to the 48% of people on the government dole?"

I was one of the FEW people in attendance NOT receiving Medicare benefits and free prescription drugs!   I guess my elderly neighbors have not come to realize that they are included in this identified group of "deadbeats."

"Before LBJ people survived hard times on their own without government assistance".  

They did? Let's look back at a time when the President of the United States decided to let fiscal events run their course.  Herbert Hoover was a strong individualist that believed the downturn in the economy would right itself within 60 days.  Here are a few facts from the outcome of his decision:

• 1,000 homes foreclosed each day 
• Hospitals reported an increase in death from starvation.  Boris Borisov, a history researcher estimates (based on analyzing US population, birth and death rates, immigration and emigration) the US lost over seven million people during the famine of 1932 and 1933.
• Average rate of death by suicide (per 100,000 population)
  
  1929: 18.1
  1930-1940: 15.4
• Working women were openly discriminate against and usually lost their jobs.  Section 213 of the Economic Recovery Act of 1932 stated that any married person whose spouse worked for the federal government should be fired first.  State and local governments and school boards refused to hire married women. Collages urged female graduates not to seek work. 

Who are the individuals most benefiting from the social reforms introduced by LBJ? You got it SENIORS!  In 1963 most elderly Americans had no health insurance and very few retirement plans provided healthcare coverage.  Since 1965, 79 million Americans have signed up for Medicare. Poverty levels for senior citizens has dropped to around 10%, the lowest level for any category.    

And while life expectancy for seniors has done nothing but increased during the past twenty years, the number of newborn deaths each year puts the US at 41st worldwide in health care rating for infants and their mothers.  

Are you a pacifist?  You don't own a gun.  Would you defend your family if attacked?  

I have never owned a gun because I have a temper and believe it best I'm not packing heat.
However,  looking back, I do see I lost an incredible opportunity to whip out my six shooter and rid the world of a room full of government freeloaders.:-)

If the Shoe Fits

Doug, my dear husband, does not like the idea that in my last post I said if you are a "birther", or questioning the education of or the civility, or sending mean spirited emails daily about our current President that you are a racist.  Sorry....but if the shoe fits.

WE all have deep seed racist or stereotype concepts  that are a part of our upbringing. We have ideas that Asians are smart, Germans are hard-working, Latins are hot tempered.  And for many, it appears that if a black man can rise to be President at a young age, well something has to be amiss somewhere, he just can't be that smart.

During the last few years of the Bush administration it became apparent to all that we as a nation had been misled into a war for questionable reasons.  We ran up insurmountable debt as we quickly learned that current military tactics did not work against these middle eastern countries.  They just didn't follow our rules!  The interest on this debt is crippling us today. 

BUT people at cocktail parties and in the middle of dinner parties did not foam at the mouth and announce loudly they "hated George W. Bush".  People disagreed with decisions he made, they shook their heads in disgust, but they did not question if he were the real son of George Bush Sr.  They didn't crawl into the cesspool of inconsequential, mindless dribble (yes I know Doug what word I am using) that has come out of the mouths and pens of many people once believed to be at least mildly intelligent. 

If you are saying history will prove this to be the worse President we have ever had, if you find hatred burning in your soul  (I actually know a woman who talks to her therapist of her hatred for the President), if you find yourself daily looking for negative comments and gleefully sending fictitious, ill-informed email after another to your friends, you need to look a little deeper into your Republican soul and have an honest evaluation.   I don't believe you will like what you find. 

Just because

I have always found that individuals who find the need to constantly define or discuss their position are woefully in need of reassurance in their beliefs.  I find this particularly true in today's political atmosphere. 

Some want to argue that this is an election of the size of government.  Others want to say that this election is based on jobs and other economic factors.  Others just don't like Obama, they will give you a hundred reasons why - his questionable birthplace, not enough info on his educational background, he is uppity...

Here are my thoughts

Those of you that argue we are voting on the size of government find yourself sitting on the same team with those that believe that it is the "right" of a religion to tell you how to live your life, who your friends should be, who you can marry, well you know who and what "they" are. No wonder you are constantly bring up intellectual arguments, you want to demonstrate the difference between you and your new friends. 
Resolution:  You need to get a new party - yours has been contaminated.  

You that argue we are voting on job creation and other economic factors are overlooking that the last four years the US has had had incredible business earnings.  You try to convince yourself and others that the best thing for the good ole US of A is Big Business and that humbling ourselves and bowing down to the Gods of the Fortune 500 will appease them to open up jobs here in the US.  Job creation is a problem of the US educational system - not the political party in power.  The 25% without a high school diploma will not find good jobs in manufacturing and construction as in the past to feed their families.  And many of the Red States that find themselves with high unemployment also have very high high school drop out rates.  Go figure.....

Those that just don't like Obama based on any or all of the above mentioned things,  well I won't waste my energy, please just take me off your email list with your daily dribble of hate. I have lived through eleven Presidents and do not recall ever hearing such hate-filled, mean-spirited discussions.  And they ALL begin with, "I am a social liberal but a conservative voter."    No my friend you are just a racist.

More could follow, but probably won't, I don't need to defend or define my position.  I feel damn good about my beliefs.

A Tale of Two Socks

While Doug and I were dating he shared a story with me about how he felt about socks and life. The story was that people were much like socks in that some found their mate and stayed together for life while others get separated in the dryer and go through life searching for the other. He was beginning to believe he was a lost sock until I came along.

This sad contemplation has led me to a rigorous sock pairing search every few months. Doug collects his assortment of unmatched socks and I go on a mission.

It is amazing how many socks get separated and no matter how hard you look, you just can't find that perfect one. It is theoretically impossible to lose a sock. Especially in our house where dirty laundry goes down the laundry chute and falls into a basket in the basement. Then magic elves (or so most of my family seem to believe) sort the clothes, wash, dry, fold and bring them back up the stairs. On most days, the clothes reappear in your drawer ready for the trip again.

So tell me, how does a sock, much less a lot of socks, get lost in this process? Last night I found seven pairs of socks. That gave me a lot of satisfaction and seem to bring peace to Doug's troubled heart. Then I looked at all the other socks in the pile and wondered how much satisfaction I could get out of throwing them out and buying him new ones. It seems to me that would be a great experience as well.

So I wonder, how much time do other people, normal ones that have not attached themselves to the sock saga, spend trying to find sock mates?

Some Dreams Do Come True

I wrote several weeks ago about having dreams and plans for the future and this weekend I had the joy of sharing the experience as a dear friend fulfilled a long time dream. After many years of training, my good friend Judy Quick was ordained as a Reverend Deacon in the Episcopal Church. The deacon is one of three distinct orders of ordained ministers (bishops, priests, deacons) in the Episcopal Church.

The ceremony took place at the Cathedral Church of the Advent in Birmingham, Alabama, a beautiful old structure with history dating back to a small framed church built in 1873. The ceremony was special in that two bishops presided.

The weekend activities started with Judy and her husband, Gene, hosting a dinner where I was introduced to 12 other close friends that all shared a special place in her life. Some dated back to high school, others college or from different areas of the country she had lived. And the newest friend present was the deacon from Jackson Mississippi who had mentored her as she prepared for this event. It was a lively dinner as old friends became new friends.

The next day was even a larger crowd as neighbors and church friends drove into Birmingham for the occasion. One colleague flew in from Paris, where Judy occasionally teaches a course in International Marketing.

After the beautiful, but lengthy service, we had a luncheon at the old Tutwiler Hotel. It seemed appropriate that we dinned to celebrate in a historical hotel which dates back to 1914 and houses pictures from the Civil Rights movement in Birmingham from the 1960's. The Tutwiler is known as a haunted hotel, if so, the spirits had to be pleased with the group that assembled to celebrate with Judy as she begins this new chapter of her life.

A Deacon in the Episcopal church is a servant of the church. The beginning of the deacon is said to be found in The Acts of the Apostles, chapter 6 where seven apostles are chosen to take over the care for the poor and the sick. Some consider this a step in becoming a priest, overs like Judy want to remain in this position.

Unlike a priest, a deacon can only be ordained by a Bishop ("God now calls you to a special ministry of servant-hood directly under your bishop.")

A priest wears a stole over both shoulders to remind him of the burdens of serving Christ. A deacon wears his stole over one shoulder as a towel, to remind him of his service to the community. Judy wears her sash as a queen.




Judy Quick